Nicole vs. Life
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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