You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
