How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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