I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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