Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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