Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
