glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
