It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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