wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
