not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
