about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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