smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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