I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
