I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
