So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Randomize
