Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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