you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How does it feel to date your dad?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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