I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
