drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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