May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
