'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
