This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
