I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
