is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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