I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
