Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
