what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
