Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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