Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
