I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
