By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
