I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
