Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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