So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
