I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
