Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
