Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk is not a location!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
