Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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