And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So squirting runs in the family.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize