I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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