I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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