hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
