Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
