I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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