Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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