my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
