So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
