Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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