One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
