Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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