Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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