Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize