Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
