yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
